Among Friends Have an opinion on this column? Submit a Letter to the Editor Click here to return to archives Life: Get on with it By Tad Bartimus Posted May 30, 2008 This is the season when older people stand in front of younger people to recite their life's victories and vicissitudes in hopes they will be downloaded like an mp3 when graduates need Cautionary Tale No. 46: "Be careful when investing in pork-belly futures." Graduation speakers are often folks who have made a lot of money, won many awards and espouse sound-bite homilies delivered with earnest sincerity. Their listeners' immediate hope is that the speech will be short so they can get on with making their own mistakes and racking up their own milestones. I have both listened to, and delivered, commencement addresses. The first exercise is tedious, the second unnerving, because I knew going in that my remarks would probably be just as forgettable as those delivered at my own high school graduation four decades ago. My recollections of that day are of the beaming faces of my proud parents as I marched past them, and of heat so fierce my polyester gown stuck to my thighs. The next morning, I left home for a summer job that segued into college. Finishing a semester ahead of my university class, I skipped that commencement, thus depriving my parents of a last chance to beam at me as I marched away into my own life. Reading thoughtful, even eloquent, commencement addresses archived at www.humanity.org reinforces my hunch that what we need to know we've already learned by the time we leave high school. No matter how we gussy them up with lofty language and purple prose, the basic rules of the road are these: -- Do your best to do no harm -- Give, even when it hurts -- Believe in yourself -- Be a participant, not an observer -- Don't waste time. We start learning these basic tenets before pre-school. Coaches, teachers and mentors help us hone them in Little League, gymnastics, algebra and college prep. By the time we're ready for "Pomp and Circumstance," we've either aced our lessons or we haven't. Henceforth, it's up to us to pass or fail our daily tests. "I used to think the future was solid or fixed, something you inherited like an old building that you moved into when the previous generation moves out or gets chased out, but it's not," Bono, the rock musician and humanitarian, told University of Pennsylvania graduates in 2004. "The future is not fixed, it's fluid. ... The world is more malleable than you think, and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape." As successful people know, you have to be adaptable to change to survive and flourish in an uncertain world. Microsoft founder Bill Gates often says he doesn't see problems, only challenges. "Don't let complexity stop you," he told Harvard University's 2007 graduates. "Be activists. Take on the big inequities. ... I hope you will judge yourselves not on your professional accomplishments alone, but also on how well you have addressed the world's deepest inequities, how well you treat people a world away who have nothing in common with you but their humanity." The more I learn, the less sure I am of what I know. I am certain, however, that in the end, my success in life will be graded on two things -- my character and the judgment of those I love. Gloria Steinem adds one more caveat to graduates about to bid farewell to academe: "This is the last period of time that will seem lengthy to you at only three or four years." "From now on," the feminist writer told 1987 graduates of Tufts University, "time will pass without artificial academic measure. It will go by like the wind. Whatever you want to do, do it now. For life is time, and time is all there is." Get going, graduates. The clock is ticking. Scram!